Reflection: A Tangle of Discourses

While reading Rebecca Raby’s, A Tangle of Discourses: Girls Negotiating Adolescence, I tried to fit my own teenage self into the discourse categories that she laid out. Of course, I fit into “the storm”. I was moody, angry, rebellious, experimenting, and hormonal. I was constantly snapping at my mom about the stupidest things and would not tell her too much information about my personal life. I went out with boys that neither my mother nor friends approved of because I just didn’t care what anyone thought. I had the idea that I knew what was right for me and it didn’t matter what people had to say. I found my relationship with my mom changing because I craved acceptance from my friends above al else. I tried to see how much I could get away with and how much trouble I would get in if I was caught. Needless to say, during some parts of my teenagers years it was probably pretty unpleasant to be around me.

In high school, I tried to be friends with many different types of people. My lunch table (which, of course, was the Mecca of high school world) consisted of the artsy kids, the theater kids, some athletes, Goths, punks, skaters, and more. As a part of “becoming” I surrounded myself with many different types of people to see where exactly I fit in. I was really involved with the theater program at school and had many sleepless nights trying to figure out why I didn’t seem to fit in. There were many times where I considered quitting the program all together because I felt like I just didn’t belong. I think it is really hard for teenagers when they are trying to figure out who they are. The media, their peers, their parents, and their own minds are all telling them different things about what is “normal” or “cool” and it is really confusing.

In terms of being “at risk”, I did not really feel the pressures of doing drugs or drinking alcohol. The people that I hung out with didn’t participate in those activities so they never asked me to do those things with them. In middle school, there were some instances of violence that occurred and some pretty scary situations that came up. By high school these threats had mostly disappeared and I never felt at risk.

Teenagers are labeled as being a “social problem”. This is a very harsh statement to be using on such a wide range of people. I remember going to the mall a lot with friends in high school and we were constantly harassed by the store employees and especially the mall security guards. Employees would be keeping an eye on us waiting for us to steal something when we had money to make a purchase. Mall security would get really mad if you were standing and talking to a group of friends. The Warwick Mall actually has a system in place now where there cannot be anymore than three teenagers in a group, which is common among malls now as shown in this article. I almost wanted to just walk in and be like “I have money, I am here with my friends, we don’t want to rob you or cause any disruption we just want to go shopping”. That of course would have made them even more skeptical of me so I just dealt with the glares.

In terms of “pleasurable consumption”, I was and still am very guilty of that. I constantly needed the latest clothes, shoes, and pieces of technology. Whatever my friends had, I wanted bigger and better. I also went through many phases in terms of dress during high school so I was constantly buying new clothes. Until I got a job, at 15, I was spending my mom’s money. I didn’t think twice of asking her for massive amounts of money each week to go shopping or to the movies. If a pair of pants was $50, I didn’t care because I knew my mom would buy them for me. It amazes me now how much money I actually spent and how terrible it was that I took my mom’s hard earned money and just threw it away. Once I got a job, I controlled my spending a little more and didn’t need to keep up with my peers.

This article proves the contradictions that teenagers are facing in society today. They are being told to be independent but also dependent at the same time. It is said that this is a time of exploration and self discovery, yet they are not allowed to wear certain things to school or speak up about what they think is right or wrong. They are stuck in the middle of childhood and adulthood with no place to turn.